First off, I want to say just how truly blessed I am in my life. While there are certainly ups and downs to every situation, I know that everything has happened in my life for a reason. It’s like the Rascal Flatts song goes, “God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.” Nothing is perfect, but every trial, every heartbreak, every challenge has put me on a path to be exactly where I am today. And for that, I am thankful.
Today has been quiet. My girls slept over at Grammy’s house last night and are spending the day today having fun there. My mom even had to bribe them to say two sentences to me on the phone: 1. Hiiiiiiiiiii, we miss you! 2. We’re having fun! Then, laughter from my mom and the fulfillment of her promise of Smarties for the completion of their mission. It was awesome.
It’s also provided me with a small glimpse into my future and the realization that my messy house and my imperfect kids are a true joy. As always, I’ve had high hopes for today…laundry, clean the house, wash the pots and pans, grocery shopping, buy fabric, pick out the wall color for the baby’s room, make some more freezer meals, etc., etc.. The list could have probably gone on for hours. So far, I’ve cleaned one room, done two loads of laundry, and emptied the dishwasher. Then, I got bored. Not because I don’t have plenty to do, mind you. But because it’s SO QUIET here. It’s now 3:00 in the afternoon, and I feel like I haven’t done anything. (I haven’t even taken a shower yet…but that’s our little secret.)
Now, I know that I have done some things around the house and have been able to check a few things off my list. But as I was watching the movie Big Fish while lying on the couch amongst some unfolded sheets and baby clothes, I realized that if everything got accomplished all the time, I would be living an extremely boring life. If my kids weren’t around making messes for me to clean up or if my house was always in perfect order, I’d probably sit around all day, watching movies or buying stuff online. I don’t live in a pigsty; however, the only time my house is completely clean is…well, when my mom used to clean it for us. If we’re having company over, the downstairs will most likely be cleaned. But DO NOT venture upstairs if you are uncomfortable with messy bedrooms and a hallway cluttered with things waiting to find a home in the attic.
My epiphany for today is that my situation is not perfect, but it is where I’m supposed to be. With a baby on the way in just a couple of short months, I need to stop stressing out about whether I’m getting a load of laundry done every day or whether my floors are cleaned or my rooms are dusted. Yes, things would go a little more smoothly if everything in our home had it’s own place, but now is not the time to be worrying about those things. Now is the time to be enjoying my family, loving that my kids are growing up happy and healthy, and making memories with them every day. Anxiety over toys being left out overnight and laundry that sits in the dryer an extra day has been taking away from the joy I should feel for the circumstances of my life.
Lysa TerKeurst said it so well when she pulled out the phrase “consider it” from the Bible verse James 1:2. In James 1:2, it says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” Why would we ever consider a trial pure joy? Lysa states, “because we will not feel joyful in the moment.” Amen! While I’m not out on my rooftops begging people to come into my house to see how messy it is or rejoicing when my children are not listening, I need to consider the joy that these trials bring. A roof over my head, beautiful, loving children to watch over, and happiness that is sitting there waiting for me to truly grab ahold of it. Without these trials, my life would feel empty and honestly quite boring.
So, while I may be yearning for a clean home or hoping that my children listen to me the first time I tell them to do something, I will never wish these times away. I will strive to always consider them pure joy and know that this path is where I’m supposed to be. Without it, I’d be wandering, lost and alone and not knowing which way to turn.
I will not let my imperfections cause me any more anxiety, and I will not dwell on the fact that my life is not identical to someone else’s life that I may believe to be perfect. While making changes is good, knowing that my life is where it should be and that even small baby steps of change are steps forward will bring my heart peace. I wish that for you today as well.
I’m off to cross one or two more things off my list (including that shower)!